Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
