Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
