idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
tell me about the fingering
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