R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
