I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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