she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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