Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
