Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
