absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
