It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
