hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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