Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
