I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
