Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
