piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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