I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
