The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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