my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
