garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
