Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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