Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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