I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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