so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
