Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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