Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
PANTIES FOUND
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