Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
