Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize