question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
