You're completely useless in the revolution.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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