Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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