I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
