My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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