Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
