your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
