Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
