I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize