i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
