come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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