Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
how does that bad decision feel?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
