I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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