Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So here I am, sexting at work.
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