I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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