College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
