Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
