lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
