I am puke
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
