I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So many bounce houses so little time
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
