Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
