how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
