I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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