You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
