Just mADE A PArabola og urine
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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