when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
