u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
