dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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