I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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