Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
