what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
