FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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