You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
