im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize