I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
