oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Church boner. Awkwardddd
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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