Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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