i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
