he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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