I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Come on in and take your pants off
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