So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
