I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize