if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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