Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
