An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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