worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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